Safe in His Walls

Apparently, my pond is the perfect habitat for fish and frogs to breed. Who knew? Since we built the pond in May, we have had atleast 4 fish lay eggs and those eggs have hatched. What a surprise it was to come out one day and see baby koi along the waters edge!

Kelsey and her baby fish catching tool of choice...a meat baster!

Ever since the first day we saw the babies, my daughter Kelsey has been on a constant search for babies in need of rescue so they will not be eaten by the big fish. I catch a glimpse of her out there everyday with net, meat baster, and bucket in hand looking for babies. We find them most of the time in the shallows where there is a rock wall and plants to hide in.


The shallows and the rock wall!


Yesteday I was sitting by my pond and thought, "We should build a wall that will protect the babies from the big fish. Then we can just put them inside the wall when we find them, instead of taking them out of the pond altogether." I gave this task to Kelsey. She used bricks with holes in them and created a wall that let little fish in but kept the big fish out. She provided a place of safety to those in need of shelter.

This morning, I went out to the pond and saw her wall for the first time. There were baby fish and tadpoles all safe and sound behind the walls with the tall rock wall looming above. There were even a few in front of the wall who had ventured through the holes, but stayed close to the security of the wall. It gave me this picture image of the walls of Jerusalem with Mount Zion looking down on the city.

There is security when we are within the boundaries that God sets for us. We are safe within the shelter. He makes it easy for us to enter and a desired place to stay. But it is a difficult place for the enemy to enter.

Psalm 122:6,7 says:

"May those who love you be secure.

May there be peace within your walls
and security within your citadel."

Psalm 125:1,2 says: "Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever.
As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the Lord surrounds his people
both now and forevermore."

We are not only safe behind the walls of Jerusalem, but we are also protected by Mount Zion. We are protected on all sides, above, below and all around!

WE JUST NEED TO STAY PUT!

Take comfort, we are in God's hands!

I'M DIVING IN!!!

I sat by my pond on Thursday morning feeling a bit anxious about my huge weekend ahead. I watched this little koi in the pond who normally swims by himself, but this morning was in motion with the big koi. Up until then, he felt like he was too small and it was too much of a risk to swim with the big fish. But here he was right with them. I smiled because I was waiting for him to get the courage to jump in. Every baby fish goes through this period.


As we headed out for North Carolina, "I'm Diving in" was playing on the radio and it pumped me up. "SHE SPEAKS...HERE I COME!" Chad was going with me as my support and Starbucks runner!


I woke up Friday morning feeling very confident as I prepared to head down to the conference and then I looked in the mirror...I WAS COVERED FROM NECK TO TOE IN A RASH!!!! WHAT ON EARTH WAS THIS? It didn't itch, it just consumed my every thought! Was I contagious? Could others see it? Was I dying? What was next? I gave it to God and moved on...I'm diving in!


I felt confident and sure that this was where I was to be...until the first session. I walked in and saw hundreds of women (560 to be exact) and I about came undone. What was I doing HERE? The devil whispered the same thing and I said, "I don't know!" Micca Campbell later said the same thing about the devil and I thought, "Man he sure gets around." I gave it to God...I'm diving in!


It was now time to head to my first speech evaluation. One sweet woman asked me where I was headed now and I told her. She said, "Well then...walk tall for you are in God's hands!" Wow! What precious words. I felt confident as I entered the room to give my first evaluated speech...my testimony. Then I stood up. This is always hard to share. The raw emotion sometimes overwhelms me. But here I go with 3 minutes. I asked to go first and gave it to God...I'm diving in....I made it through!


I felt good that night and OK in the morning, but as the day wore on, DOUBT set in as to why I was here. My testimony was stupid. I presented it badly. This is not what I was called to do and I should just go home and be THE MOM. I felt like that little fish in the big pond. Then sweet Amy Carroll, my She Speaks evaluator, saw me and told me how well I had done the night before and how she was looking forward to my next presentation that evening. What? I didn't stink? Are you sure? I gave it to God...I'm diving in!


FINAL EVALUATION....DUM DUM DUM DUUUUMMMMM! It went great but the buzzer went off...ARGH! I was really trying to avoid it. The women in my group were so wonderful. Their teachings were incredible. I loved them all! I thought to myself, "These are the women God has handpicked to reach others." What an honor to be with them here.


I came to She Speaks with the knowledge that if you are evaluated there is a door open to you to apply to be on the Speaker Team. When I read that I thought, "Hmmm! Is this really a door for me?" This is how I feel about doors...go through the ones open to you and God will shut the ones you are not to go through. So where was the table to apply? It was never talked about and I was discouraged. I figured I would just need to find a speaker and boldly ask. Easier said than done! There is nothing about me that is bold. I think it in my mind, but I don't act on it often. I know God is tailoring me in this area.


So I boldly, like a mouse afraid to get stepped on, decided to ask. When I made the move, God met me halfway when a speaker told me to apply even before I asked! WOW! How good is God! What does this mean? Who knows! Will I be accepted? Who knows!


I struggle with self-doubt heavily in this area of being called to speak! The one thing I walked away with from this weekend is that the devil wants nothing more than to pile on doubt in the area that God has called us in. And He wants us to be BOLD in the giftings He has given us. I don't believe it is honoring to God to shrink back from where He leads us. So I BOLDLY in the name of Jesus say that I am a speaker and this is my calling from GOD! I am a broken vessel that He has taken and used his Super Yahweh Glue on and formed into the vessel that He wants for His Ministry. I am change in God's pocket and He can spend me any way He wants! I am the little koi who God has been waiting to see get out of the shallow water and jump into the deep end! Who am I to argue with God?

"If You say,"Go," we will go.
If You say, "Wait," we will wait.
If You say, "Step out on the water and they say it can't be done, we will fix our eyes on you and we will run.
Your ways are higher than our ways and the plans that You have made are good and true.
If You call us to the fire, you will not withdraw your hand.
We will gaze into the flames and look for You!


I GAVE MY DOUBT TO GOD THIS WEEKEND...I'M DIVING IN!

Happy Father's Day

My dad and little Wyatt having a jam session!

Chad and Levi

"Happy Father's Day" rang out each time a child walked down the stairs this morning! What sweet words...they just love their daddy. For 16 years, those words have tickled Chad's ears...even if his babies were too little to say them! Tahd was 1 month old on Chad's first Father's Day...now he's 15!

These words never echoed the halls of my childhood...not because we didn't have a Dad, but because our religion didn't let us celebrate it. What a shame, because my dad is worth celebrating!

I sat in church today and heard a sermon about how we shouldn't judge our heavenly Father by our earthly one. My pastor said HE is bigger and better than the best dad of the year! HE is always ready to welcome any child into His big arms. This put a picture in my head of my dad that only came to reside there recently.

Three years ago as we went home to celebrate my parents 50th Anniversary, my mom let a few skeletons out of her closet. She told me that my older sister, age 51, wasn't my dad's actual daughter. She told me how her real dad left my mom when she became pregnant. When my dad returned from the military and found her pregnant, he could have left my mom. But he chose to be there and raise this little fatherless girl as his own. WE NEVER KNEW! He never treated her different or loved any of us more. WOW! What a dad! He needs that Father of the Year award!

So here's to you daddy! I have never been so proud to call you my dad as I have been these past few years! I pray you come to know the same Heavenly Father I know! Happy Father's Day!

Signed,

Your Little Pumpkin

PS Happy Father's Day Chad! There could never be a better dad than you for Tahd, Kelsey, Levi and Wyatt!

The Devil wears mud boots, but so does God!

I had this great blog all written out that slambasted the Devil and the attack he has on my life. When I went to post it, it disappeared. Well you didn't win. You are slinging mud at my life right now, but I am equipped through the the blood of Jesus! You might have mud boots to smoosh me into the muck and the mire, but God has some too! He will find me and lift me out every time.
I'm heading to She Speaks because He wants me there! I think you are sinking!!!!

"You rule over the surging sea; when its waves mount up, you still them!" Ps 89:19

"Dear Lord, today I thought of the words Vincent Van Gough, 'It is true that there is an ebb and flow, but the sea remains the sea.' You are the sea. Although I may experience many up and downs in my emotions and often feel great shifts in my inner life, you remain the same...There are days of great sadness and days of joy; there are feelings of guilt and feelings of gratitude; there are moments of failure and moments of success; but all of them are embraced by your unwavering love.
My only temptatiom is to doubt your love. To do these things is to move into the darkness of despair.
O Lord, sea of love and goodness, let me not fear too much the storms and winds of my daily life, and let me know that there is ebb and flow...but that the sea remains the sea.
Amen."
HENRI J M NOUWEN

Thank you Lord that when the Devil slings mud at me, you are there with Clorox to make all things new.
MoJo Jodi

Two peas in a Blog!!!

Hooray!!! I'm a blogger!! Why? Who knows! Is this what people do who have loads of dishes and laundry staring them down as they sit and type? Then this is definately for me!

This is all Jen's fault. After all her complaints about no church friends who blog, I decided to step up to the plate and be there for my bud! :)

I have no stories from the pond today. I went to sit there and the major storm that hit last night had sent mud to fill up my pretty pond! Isn't that just like life! Everything is just the way we want it and along comes the Devil to screw it up. Sometimes I do it myself! I am very good at screwing things up! Thankfully I know that I have a Mighty God who can always create beauty from any mess. Sometimes it just takes time for the dirt to settle and see that everything is OK! Too bad some of us have to wait for the water to clear to know that He was always there!

Hey! I did have a story!