Cleaning Up!

Last year, right after I put my pond in, we had a huge rainstorm and my pond filled with runoff from my neighbors french drain. He didn't know that it would do that. I didn't know that it would do that, but I was left with the effects of the muddy water contaminating my perfect pond. It took me all summer to repair the damage that was done. I had to be very careful not to shock my fish by doing some sort of drastic cleaning, so the process took all summer. It wasn't pretty anymore. It was filthy. I couldn't see my fish. I was a bit peeved to say the least.


The bottom line, because it was my pond...my baby, I was left to take care of what was mine. It wasn't what I had planned on doing for the summer. I wanted to do other things. I wanted to work on flower beds and creating pathways through my backyard for my kids to discover. I wanted to work on the landscaping around the pond. All of this was put on hold, because I was in charge of the clean up.


I have been dealing with something in ministry lately. As I was thinking about it, the memory of my muddied pond came into my memory and for the first time I feel like I can finally express how I am feeling.


I feel like I got this great pond established. It was perfect! Running beautifully. Perfectly balanced. Everyone was enjoying it. I was able to walk away from the pond and not watch over it 24/7 because it was established and running well. But now the water has been muddied up and I have to leave what I was doing and clean it up. It is not that I don't care about this pond anymore, because I do. But I have been out planting gardens and creating pathways. I have found such incredible joy in what I have been doing and I am fearful that I have to leave them all to come back to the pond and clean up the mess.


I want to be able to do it all and I do believe that "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me." I am fearful though that weeds will grow over the paths that I have worked on and my flowers will wilt if I cannot water them. I know my first priority is my pond, because there is life in it that needs to be taken care of. But I am saddened to walk away from the path I was on.


I was enjoying the adventure.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Duet. 31:8

The Ponderings of a Mom on Mother's Day!

I found myself mesmerized by the life around me on Mother's Day.

First, there was Tahd. I have always called him my first Mother's Day present. He was born the day after Mother's Day in 1993. I spent that day before preparing to meet him the next day...planned induction. I celebrated that Mother's Day knowing I was getting the greatest gift the next day.

This past Mother's Day was also Tahd's 16th birthday.

He played on the worship team and I was so blessed by watching him worship God through his music. I took in those moments, hoping I would never forget the day he turned 16. We have grown incredibly closer since his illness and I cherish the time that we have had together this past year.

Kelsey...she is a beauty.

We spent the day with the entire Curtis family(minus Aaron and Jen) and I watched Rosie and Rachel and Asher shadow her every move. They truly love her and she is just so sweet and tender to them. She was especially doting on Asher as he was missing his mom and dad. I thought how great of a mom she will be someday. She has such tenderness to kids.

Levi's moment was during church.

He seemed to want to almost curl up on my lap. We couldn't get any closer. He has always been a mama's boy and sometimes that is overshadowed by Wyatt. I loved feeling his warm body next to me as we followed along in my Bible together. Levi always spent the mornings first moments on my lap when he was little. I remember the day after I brought Wyatt home and Levi came downstairs to climb in my lap and there was a baby laying where he used to sit. He just smiled and slid up next to me. It was a sad moment for me, but his eyes almost said,

"It's OK...I'm the big boy now."

Wyatt's moment was tender.

We were at Stephanie's before the whole crowd got there

and Wyatt headed to the piano.

He played it softly and tenderly and sang, "Hallelujah...Hallelujah!"

It wasn't just him singing a song...he was worshipping like I have never seem.

I took that moment in and committed to never forgetting that moment ever! Wyatt has been asking a lot of questions about God. It has been wonderful and at times quite entertaining to talk to him about spiritual matters. Like one day he said, "So mom! God and Jesus...what's up with all that?"OK...I wasn't sure if he was looking for a definition about the trinity or what. I think that when I tell him that Jesus lives in my heart, he pictures a mini Jesus action figure in my body.

I loved spending the with some of my favorite moms like Stephanie.

She has always sheltered Chad and I under her wing. I loved being with the Grandmas too. I am not going to wallow in self-pity, but when you can't honor your own mom, it means a lot to be around ones that you can. I started my own tradition a few years ago that I would give cards or flowers or something to a different mom who is special to me in place of my own. This year it was Stephanie and Ruby. Ruby's early morning call to wish me Happy Mother's Day was a precious gift. Being honored by Don and Stephanie at their house was another.

Watching Skyler with Jen's kids, being pseudo-mom,

was another precious moment.

Knowing that very soon she will take on motherhood in a way that most of us wouldn't contemplate because of the "issues" was exciting and humbling. I am so excited for her!

Even though I wasn't with Jen,

one of my favorite mom friends, I loved being with her kids and family and thinking about how wonderful of a mom she is. Her kids are some of the most special kids to me. (You are my other favorite mom friend, Lynn...I know you are reading!)

No gift could ever match my moments on Mother's Day.

Thank you to all who made it special!

A Mormon Who Became A Baptist...well, sort of!

Saturday I spoke at Kennesaw First Baptist Church for an event that they called, "On The Dot." I was so honored to spend the evening with these ladies and share my testimony. Skyler Curtis went along with me. When I was first approached about sharing my testimony and whether or not it would fit into their theme for the evening, that Christ is always on the dot in our lives, I confidently said yes. Little did I know that He was going to make sure that I truly believed that He does show up on time and not a moment too soon.

As I was getting ready the week before to share, I felt like I kept hitting a brick wall. I likened it to a back draft. Every time I tried to go forward with planning my testimony/teaching I would hit this fiery wall and I just had to stop. See, I feel like I have come to a place in my life that sharing my testimony is not JUST about what God saved me from, but also about what He saved me for. I try to pull a Biblical teaching into my testimony, because that is one aspect of my life that I feel He saved me for...to speak God's truths to women. But what seemed like a simple thing to plan was leaving me feeling scared to death that I did not know what to do. Sure I could have just gone up and shared my testimony like I had the last time and it probably would have been fine, but I was wise to the fact that God wanted it done a different way, and it would not have been honoring of Him to do it the same way. So...I waited...I fretted...I got frustrated...I got mad at everyone...and I sat with a sick feeling in my gut.

Saturday morning, Skyler asked me if I was ready. Sure I was ready...I was ready to hear from God and know what on earth He wanted me to do!!!!! She said, "Isn't it funny that you are supposed to be teaching about Christ being on the dot and that is exactly what you are waiting on?"

NO, it's not funny!
But...yeah, it is...it is funny.
OK God!
You have my attention!

At about 1 pm that day, I prayed again and just asked for clear vision of how He wanted me to share and asked His forgiveness in trying to do it myself. Within a minute He made it perfectly clear how to express what He wanted to say to the women. Still, I wasn't sure how to end it, but I left for the event confident that HE would end it "on the dot." Sure enough, when the moment came, He gave me clarity as I spoke. He didn't show up before I needed Him. He WAS on the dot.

The event was such a blessing to me. Stephanie and her mom attended, not even knowing when they purchased their tickets that I was the speaker. When I told Stephanie where I would be speaking next, she said, "Oh it's you! It's you. My mom and I are attending the event and when we asked who the speaker was, they said, "It's some Mormon who became a Baptist." Well, close but no cigar! I kept thinking as I was about to share, "Someone out there is going to be waiting for me to start talking about Salt Lake City!"

My favorite moments of a speaking engagement are the moments afterwards....the afterglow. It's not that I am dying to hear women tell me how great I was or something, because believe me, I have had them tell me how I could do it better next time. What I love is hearing the impact of a teaching on people, how God has moved in them during my brief moments on stage. Mostly, I love how women come and share with me their lives in the raw, and how that greatly impacts me. One women came up afterwards and told me how at the age of 71-years-old her father accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior and how her father-in-law did the same at the age of 88. She wanted to encourage me that there is still time for my parents to accept Jesus and not to fear....remembering that Christ will fight until the very last possible moment for every human life. I needed that!

As Skyler and I left the church that evening, she turned to me and said, "Did I ever tell you that I was baptized into the Mormon religion?"

I said with excitement,"It's you! You are the Mormon who got baptized!" HAAAAAA!

Good Times!